laura 3A

2012-01-27T04:08:00.004+08:00

leaving for melbourne on sunday, so i'm packing right now! wrote a list of stuff to bring (to the tiniest detail), and my list of toiletries (and crap) is longer than my list of clothes. before packing i was damn worried that i wouldnt have enough clothes, but turns out i have more than enough so i'm cutting back on some to prevent over packing. damn scared of overpacking now, after i only wore a quarter of the stuff i brought to london&paris.

~~7 6~~ 5 tops (over packing right here, but dont know which to cut)
4 3 shorts + 1 jeans
4 3 dresses (overpacking?!)
5 bras + 9 underwear
2 sets of sleepstuff
swimsuit
slippers + flats
nail stuff (clipper, polish, remover, cotton pads)
doctor's face cream (x5) + sunblock (overpacking)
vain stuff (concealers and shit + scent) + makeup remover + face wash
lip balm, leave in conditioner
shaving stuff
bathing stuff + 1-2 towels
toothpaste, brush, floss
2 combs, rubberbands, clips
lotion for my curls
contact lenses
medicine + itch cream
hp charger + camera etc

hope i didnt forget anythingg!!!! bringing alot more than i want to bring, but i cant help it! :( maybe i can cut some less essential stuff and borrow from the 3 other girls going with me, lol!

and i am fucking excited i wanna go nowwww!

not buying a new bikini anymore so i'm saving that $60, huge part of my 'budget'.

anyway, today i went out with minping and i bought quite a few things. i got a pair of shorts, shoes, a mini top coat, and face wash from my doctor! thats $98 :( then it was 6B class gathering which was extremely stupid. me and minping met them late, so we just ordered our food and ate. after that we just mingled around discussing whether to watch movie or not blahblah, and the i decided it was stupid to travel to the west so i just went home. the rest dont know where they went but i have a feeling they didnt do anything else and went home too. 6B is so uninteresting lol.

only bringing $50 out for tmr so i dont spend more than that. lucky my nets card has nothing inside, haha.

edit/

googled for tips on how to pack light and they are fairly useless. one site said 'if you're not going to wear it more than 3 times, dont pack it!'. so i took out 2 tops, one shorts and a dress. the towels are a pain though.

2012-01-26T02:07:00.002+08:00

i think i have quite good motherly instincts LOL!

2 days ago when i go my ahma house bainian, there was this baby (maybe 3 months old?) of some distant relatives. then a few of us were just crowding around the baby and making it smile and shit. then suddenly i just backed away and exclaimed that the baby is going to vomit! and everybody (including the mum!) was like 'no la he still smiling!'. and i just backed away somemore. after like 5 seconds he really vomited a shitload HAHA!

omg i'm good.

2012-01-25T22:33:00.002+08:00

so today i went out with zhiqi and janice.

manicure was a fucking disaster. she shaped my nails and i was still quite pleased. and then she painted my nails and it was the worst shit ever. colour was totally crap. she did 2 coats (i chose a glitter), and the glitter was still sparse like anything. then she didnt even wait a minute for it to dry and applied the top coat. and the glitter just came off and she just wiped it away. never going back. thank god it wasnt ex.

and then we went shopping and it was pretty fun. idk why, maybe it's cause i havent gone shopping in more than 2 weeks, and work is much worse. got some stuff at h&m, so thats nice. didnt get any shoes to replace my dying one though.

and i went to LV after zhiqi and janice left because i wanted to alter the strap/punch a hole or something. and she told me it wasnt advisable cause the varnish would crack. so i'm abit disappointed :(

going to meet minping tmr, then go for a class dinner! stupid girl had a ear infection again cause she always put soap in her ear, idiot!! and i'm going to collect my lenses tmr, and fix my bangs. 2 things off my to-do list then ;p

2012-01-25T01:18:00.003+08:00

going out with zhiqi tomorrow for shopping (she and i both need to buy stuffs!) and possibly manicure cause i decided the better end result and much less hassle is worth the $10 that i'm paying.

and i need to clear up my to-do list within these few days before my trip on sunday!

today i played blackjack at my aunt's! luck is so-so, never really had much luck with card games. probably about 3-4 blackjacks and one AA. so hm ;p and i learnt that i keep a pretty decent poker face.

2012-01-24T03:31:00.002+08:00

watched a movie called 'The Help'. had zero expectations for it cause i just dont have much interest in drama. but it was fantastic.

2012-01-23T03:05:00.003+08:00

last day as a cashier today!

i'm quite glad, after 14 consecutive days of work with only one off day, i am really fucking tired. i have tons of injuries on my hands (get poked by prawn leg a few times, horribly painful. and all those plastic packaging of detergents etc cut my hands like crazy too), and my manicure of 3 days is chipped too (apparently my cousin's customers, even those doing housework, has their manicure last for at least a week. and my mum's one is still extremely perfect). and this super huge blueblack on my hip the size of half my fist cause the carton of drinks (bloody hell 48 cans of tiger beer) slipped off the counter onto my hips. extremely fucking painful.

so i'm going to take a nice long rest (but tons of visiting tmr...) for the wounds and blisters on my legs to heal.

2012-01-22T00:22:00.002+08:00

got a supp card, with a credit limit of 25k, lol! my daddy was so scared to give it to me, cause if i really spent 25k, he will be totally broke, poor him. but so exciting for me, heehee.

last day of work tmr ;p

2012-01-19T03:48:00.004+08:00

heehee, went to my cousin's house after work today and she painted my nails for me! she's a professional manicurist so i guess i can say i've been to my first manicure! ;p

using blue rebel. it's limited edition and i'm a sucker for such stuffs. made me quite happy after an especially bad day.

too many old people calling me stupid, or talking to me like it's my god damn fault when i dont come up with the system, or manufacture those items. bloody fucks.

one guy even insisted i was malaysian. thought for a while he was joking with me until i realised he was dead serious. like he knows my nationality better than me. dont get what's wrong with people.

2012-01-19T01:44:00.001+08:00

omg didnt realise it was so soon :( poor me.

2012-01-17T01:41:00.002+08:00

today 2 people asked me if i'm a local. so i do look very china. i'm so sad.

edit/
there's another laura in the workplace, so i'm conditioned to only respond to 'xiao mei' and not 'laura'.

2012-01-16T00:07:00.002+08:00

It's 12 midnight and I just knocked off. The schedule for next week is out and I am working everyday of the week, total 47 hours. Working like a horse seriously!! And like I'm working till midnight everyday wth

2012-01-13T02:35:00.004+08:00

bloody hell today i did the 4-11pm shift and it's fucking busy. i made like $3000 today vs $1600 yesterday! and i only took a 30min break today.

i memorised a few common product codes today though! and got scolded alot less, but more brutally each time i did. blah.

i think i'm quite satisfied with my job, stupid as it sounds. i learnt quite a lot of things, and 2 weeks isnt too long or too short, quite perfect.

yayy

edit/
LOL saw yanghuilin today! didnt know it was her until the creditcard receipt come out, then i saw the name HAHAHA!

2012-01-12T02:24:00.002+08:00

codes i have to memorise for my job! x3 pages ok!

on top of that, you think i can differentiate the types of oranges (5 types bloody hell), apples (8 types. dont think you can even name 3) and cabbage etc? fuck me.

2012-01-12T01:09:00.002+08:00

so 3rd day into my cashiering job ;p

first 2 days was quite easy, just shadowing some other cashier and help them bag the items etc. today i opened by own counter though!

it was quite scary, all the old people will keep staring at the things you scan and make sure no mistake, and they will keep complaining about how i'm very slow wtf. and very hard to talk to them cause i cant speak chinese or dialect. how the fuck to say $0.17 in chinese? i say liao the person thought i say $1.70 and dont wanna buy LOL!

and i dont know what card is nets and what is creditcard. very confusing and always use wrong! and all the receipts are fucking confusingggg.

anyway being a cashier is quite scary and difficult cause i have to manage the money very properly. a few times i gave the wrong change, and it was troublesome to open the till again.

plus at the end of the shift, we have to count the money manually (did it like 10 fucking times today), to make sure it tallies with the amount the system registered. i have an excess of $7+ today ;p not bad la, i made $1160 dollars today, margin error only $7! actually is only $1, cause got one woman say i give her wrong change and return me $6! turns out she is the one more likely to be wrong!

thank god the macdonalds there is 24hour. at least i can still use the toilet during the night shift.

2012-01-08T03:17:00.000+08:00

heehee new room

2012-01-06T17:02:00.003+08:00

went for some interview today and it was crap because it wasn't really an interview. Just fill up the agent form and got job liao wtf. So now I don't know how to tell my current boss I wanna quit shit. And then I went to another interview (which I scheduled yesterday cause I didn't think the job would be so easy to get haha), and I also got the job in some pub/ bar at Clarke quay lolll. Wtf man I don't know how to reject the job even when it's crap howww. And I really don't wanna earn only $6/hour the whole 7 months :'(

2012-01-06T12:59:00.002+08:00

so i went to the dentist today and found out it wasnt my filling that cracked, it was my bloody tooth. so i have 3/4 of my tooth left, and one of the remaining 'walls' is super super thin already, and can collapse anytime :( so when it does, i'll have to get a crown which is like half a fake teeth. fuck this shit.

and apparently my teeth is shifting super fast, and the dentist was shocked i only removed my braces for 2 years cause it's not supposed to move at this rate. double fucked!

and it's so saddening when you realise you've become so selfish/jealous/angry blah blah, when you never were to start with.

2012-01-05T23:04:00.000+08:00

bloody fucking fuck.

love shit like these.

2012-01-02T22:08:00.002+08:00

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
blah

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
i have no idea.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
'Jeff is in the nuthouse'. from the book suicide notes.

4) What do you think about most?
recently? how the fuck i'm going to earn $800 by 20jan.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?
'home? :)' by my 'boss'

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?
with

7) What's your strangest talent?
?!

8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
girls are fucking irritating.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
nopey

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
never ;p

11) Do you have any strange phobias?
toes?

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
LOL no

13) What's your religion?
none

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
shopping/eating.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
both equally boring

16) Favorite band?
tie between daughtry and a7x

17) What was the last lie you told?
uhmmmmm.?!

18) Do you believe in karma?
no

19) What does your URL mean?
lol stupid story

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
weakness- talking? just came home from work. damn jialat cant talk on the phone.
strength- fast? there's a rule i learnt at work today: no phone calls should exceed 3min. cut all small talk and get a damn appointment. so yea i'm pretty damn good at cutting people short ;p

21) Who is your celebrity crush?
not right now

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
no.

23) How do you vent your anger?
fuck.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?
nah. i can live with 20% of the things i own i think ;p

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
phone

26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
ok i guess. some things i would like to change, some things i glad i became.

27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
teeth grinding. and music probably

28) What's your biggest "what if"?
what if i cannot close 15 deals before 20jan?

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
no to ghost. maybe to aliens

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
plastic bag. printer.

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
my hair :s

32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?
wet market.

33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast?
east

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
hm. either m.shad or adam levine

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
money and fun

36) Define: Art.
something i cannot appreciate

37) Do you believe in luck?
yes for sure

38) What's the weather like right now?
ok. 25 degrees probably.

39) What time is it?
10.30pm

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
nope

41) What was the last book you read?
mockingjay- 3rd book of the hunger games. right now, alternating between suicide notes (which i've read before) and the second book of general ignorance. and i learnt that water is the strangest substance known to science in 66 different ways.

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
no

43) Do you have any nicknames?
my 'boss' nicknames me 'idk' and 'ok lor'.

44) What was the last movie you saw?
horrible bosses.

45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
havent had any extremely bad ones :/

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
yes, we used to have a butterfly garden in primary school!

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
no

48) What's your sexual orientation?
2 on the kinsey scale ;p

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
dont think so

50) Do you believe in magic?
no!

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
yes :/

52) What is your astrological sign?
leo?

53) Do you save money or spend it?
usually spend

54) What's the last thing you purchased?
a cardigan

55) Love or lust?
?!

56) In a relationship?
no

57) How many relationships have you had?
0

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
no

59) Where were you yesterday?
home

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
sis's scissors

61) Are you wearing socks right now?
no haha!

62) What's your favorite animal?
big cats

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
i should learn

64) Where is your best friend?
outer space

65) Spit or swallow?(;
?

66) What is your heritage?
?! dont get any of the definitions from the dictionary.

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
bathing!

68) What do you think is Satan's last name?
666 would be cool

69) Ever gotten yourself off?
?! from yahoo answers, it either means 'kissed', 'had sex' or 'orgasm'. wtf so which one? and no, no and no.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
yes totally. those who are not my friends just have bad taste.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
i'll get to work. because i wouldnt dare to jump in a canal. and dogs are natural swimmers no matter what some say.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
no. i will spend quality time with people who are worth it, and go overseas. maybe, slightly.

73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love.
i trust/love people? or people trust/love me? both same la.

74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
'for your entertainment' adam lambert ;p

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
2551

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
fun

77) How can I win your heart?
unboring

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
idk

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
braces or not quitting school ;p

80) What size shoes do you wear?
37

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
eek idk

82) What is your favorite word?
massive

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart.
blood

84) What is a saying you say a lot?
'i dont know'

85) What's the last song you listened to?
'spaceship' daughtry

86) Basic question: what's your favorite color/colors?
black and blue

87) What is your current desktop picture?
default

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
sorry ms ong

89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
mmm idk

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
scream like fuck and runnnn

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
fly/teleport

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
dumb but kartrider in lecture. really. or maybe the day i came home from school, ran to the playground and saw my dad with our adopted dog!

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
cant remember but definitely the embarrassing moments

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
adam levine cause he is really is hot

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
US i hope!

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?
no

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
hmm dont think so!

98) Ever been on a plane?
yes

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
be my friend on facebook :D :D

100) Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr.
lol,
starlessnight
littleinsects
naivedeirdre
mygenitals (not the layout though)
artbitch

2012-01-01T17:58:00.002+08:00

so it's 2012 today. somehow 2011 was different from other years, i feel much sadder about having it pass, idk why? i am nervous and excited at the same time, for 2012. i hope this year would as memorable as 2011.

i have never done new year resolutions, but this year i hope to spend less money on crappy shit like clothes and accessories.

2011-12-30T22:35:00.001+08:00

6 hours later: 'girl, you home le? :)'

omfg i swear this lady is either gay, or acting extremely creepily gay.

2011-12-30T17:42:00.003+08:00

highlight of today:

went for interview. interviewer hired me, texted me for small talk later, then called me a babe.

funny and creepy at the same time.

2011-12-29T22:11:00.002+08:00

63 Reasons Why Bradley Cooper Definitely Isn't The Sexiest Man Alive

ok fine. maybe ryan gosling is not so bad after all. so from 1-63, what i like and dont.

yes to 1 because everybody likes a guy in a nice suit.
no to 5 because he reminds me of npcc
yes to 6 because i cannot resist funny faces
yes to 9 because..he's kind of cute i guess
no to 11 because blonde and rock-er leather jacket just does not go
no to 12 because of weird friend who does not button up. and also because chest is too exposed.
no to 14 because of shoes
no to 17 because of ugly tank top and not cute funny face
unsure about 19...it is slightlyy disturbing?
yes to 21 because of eyes
no to 22 because of too much facial hair
no to 28 he looks like a jerk
yes to 42 because of dog
yes to 44 because THAT is hot
no to 46 because it is weird. i like very straight or very gay, not in between weird.
yes to 57 because of blur smile. not so well done but good enoughhh
no to 62 because he looks like a criminal trying to escape and have not bathed in 5 days

ok.

2011-12-29T21:24:00.003+08:00

Last time I
Hugged someone: dont remember :/
Last time you ate: dinner. 8?
Saw someone I haven't seen in awhile: ummmmmmm
Cried in front of someone: obs? lol idk
Went to a movie theater: few days ago; mission impossible
Took a vacation: week ago
Swam in a pool: a month ago at cheehin's
Changed a diaper: never :/
Got my nails done: professionally? never.
Went to a wedding: lollll more than 10 years ago!
Broke a bone: when i was 5/6
Got a peircing: when i was 11/12
Broke the law: jaywalking within the last week? ;p
Texted: second ago, just put down my phone before this qn :S

MISC
Who makes you laugh the most: myself/cracked/reddit
Something I will really miss when I leave home is: almost everything, from home cooked food to my bro helping me print stuff.
The last movie I saw: mission impossible. weird i havent been renting movies!
The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: meeting minping
The thing im not looking forward to: meeting unknown people at kfc tmr
People call me: prc/stupid/laura
The most difficult thing to do is: connect with people
I have gotten a speeding ticket: never
My zodiac sign is: what is zodiac? the animal thing ah? chicken. or the other thing like leo or whatever?
The first person i talked to today was: maid
First time you had a crush: sec1?
The one person who i can't hide things from: nobody i thinkkk
Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk
Right now I am talking to: minping/cheehin
What are you going to do when you grow up: fuck
I have/will get a job: will try tmr
Tomorrow: will not be so good
Today: was ok, slightly funny on hindsight
Next Summer: simi sai
Next Weekend: no plans
I have these pets: dogg
The worst sound in the world: teeth grinding urgh
The person that makes me cry the most is: dont have
People that make you happy: not so much
Last time I cried: uhmmm dont remember
My friends are: ok
My computer is: da best
My School: kind of miss it
My Car: non existent
I lose all respect for people who: are not professional
The movie I cried at was: quite a few
Your hair color is: failed red
TV shows you watch: nil
Favorite web site: torn between tumblr/reddit/cracked
Your dream vacation: hot body in a pretty bikini on a nice resort. and then you get to have bbq-ed food on the beach. shiok.
The worst pain I was ever in was: stomach cramps :s
How do you like your steak cooked: medium/medium well. no blood please! :/
My room is: not so cosy. and very yellow
My favorite celebrity is: all the hot guys like bradley cooper, ashton kutcher (maybe not so much after the stupid new year's eve movie), matt damon and ryan reynolds. ;D

edit/
eh found out bradley cooper was sexiest man alive 2011, matt damon 2007 and ryan reynolds 2010. just saying. OH AND CAN I JUST SAY THAT RYAN GOSLING IS WEIRD. OK HE IS WEIRD, NOT DIVINE. OK? RYAN GOSLING IS NOT SEXIER THAN BRADLEY COOPER!!! stupid ryan gosling fans.

Where would you like to be: aus
Do you want children: not right now
Ever been in love: nope
Whos your best friend: the internet
More guy friends or girl friends: girl
One thing that makes you feel great is: food.
One person that you wish you could see right now: no clue
Do you have a 5 year plan: haha please, no 5 day plan even. CAN SOMEONE GOD DAMNIT ASK ME OUT ON NEW YEARS EVE. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Have you made a list of things to do before you die: nope. maybe i should. there' something about lists.
Have you pre-named your children: wtf no creep
Last person I got mad at: forgot
I would like to move to: not anymore. quite like it here on my chair in front of my comp
I wish I was a professional: dont knwowww

My Favorites
Candy: chocolate. preferably dark or with raisins inside
Vehicle: idk
President: wtf
State visited: dont know
Cell Phone Provider: dont knwowwwww!!
Athlete: dont even know any except myself.
Actor: sexiest man every yr can? except johnny dep (or however fuck you spell his name)
Actress: dont like all.
Singer: ?!?!
Band: boring la
Clothing Store: iehowh
Grocery Store: bdwdiod
TV show: ok finished my food. but no favourite tv show
Movie: brokeback mountain (refer to kissing scene again!), the italian job, easy A, legally blonde (can more people just go watch it), inglourious basterds and gattaca
Website: as above above
Animal: big cats for sure
Theme Park: iheihei
Holiday: cambodia serious.
Sport to watch: bull
Sport to play: shit
Magazine: ?!
Book: aiyo no ideaa
Day of the week: friday :)
Beach: :/
Concert Attended: mehhh
Thing to cook: microwavable stuff
Food: almost anything
Restaurant: idk
Radio Station: dont listen that much. too much crap
Yankee Candle scent: ?!
Perfume: dont like it on me. but i like it on men, so sexy.
Flower: roses
Color: black
Talk Show host: bleh
Comedian: idhwic
Dog Breed: the labrador for sure.
Would you be able to delete your blog? probably not, for both my blogs.

2011-12-29T19:26:00.002+08:00

favourite (kissing) scene ever.

so i was going to sign up for drum lessons this afternoon because i decided to forget about jobs until i come back from melbourne, but this woman just called me to offer me an interview tmr. going for it but i have a feeling it's gonna be hard cause i'm sure they dont need 120 part timers like the previous M&S one.

maybe i'll check out academy of rock tomorrow. hm.

2011-12-29T14:01:00.003+08:00

so today's 'interview' was a fucking disaster. so i went there, answered a few questions, the woman seemed quite pleased, then offered me a position at an outlet. so that means i got the job right? fucking hell no.

next question she asked was 'going overseas'? and stupid me forgot to lie, so i told her yes, leaving 29jan. i swear i saw her eyes turn to red, and she was FUCKING angry. not the 'fuck you never say earlier' kind of pissed, but the 'FUCK YOU DUHWUHOFIHEW WHY YOU NEVER SAY EARLIER. LOOK NOW SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE AND IT'S YOUR FAULTTTT. AND I AM GOING TO LOSE MY JOB!!!!!' kind of maddddd.

and she literally told me to scram.

at least now i know what's it like to get hired, then fired a minute later.

2011-12-29T07:05:00.000+08:00

lol what i found on my photobooth on accident today.

that's anise's sexy legs, cheehin's boob, siyi's hands and me sleeping.

2011-12-28T19:10:00.003+08:00

yesterday cheehin showed me this website to look for jobs, so i anyhow just sms/email a few people. and today this guy responded, ask me meet him at some place and i did. the first thing he did after giving me some form to fill in was 'you will work in marks and spencer. ok?'. lol at the 'will'. so i got the job? idk.

so i'm going for an 'interview' tomorrow. apparently they need chinese people (no fucking idea why), so 'got high chance' i will get the job LOL. omfg damn pathetic, $6 per hour for 6 days a week. at least no pressure, get fired then i just say bye.

i think the industry desperately needs people to work. within 24 hours from 'lazy to look for job la', to 'you will work in m&s'. and he somemore ask me bring 10 friends LOL. anybody wanna come?!?!?!!?

2011-12-27T20:49:00.001+08:00

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

[Chorus:]
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain't even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

2011-12-25T02:04:00.001+08:00

trying to save money for my aus trip, so from now to 29jan (i think? whenever i leave for aus la), i will spend within $200.

it's either $20 per outing, 9 outings, so $180, or $30x6.

and i have $40 from christmas to buy whatever i like. and angpow $ from the new year for my aus trip. and i'll work.

2011-12-25T01:34:00.001+08:00

what do you even do at a nightclub

is there wifi

just had to.

2011-12-23T10:50:00.001+08:00

me: you want a post it pad?
mum: no, i want money.

spent a bomb on my hair yesterday and my mum's car doesnt work. so she's very stressed, lol!

2011-12-22T23:53:00.003+08:00

so today i got my hair done with cheehin. first time i paid more than 60bucks for a haircut.

i got bangs and curled my hair :/ and now i'm a little embarrassed to meet people. at least it's one of the rare times i didnt come back from a haircut and my dad didnt notice.

i decided to do something different with my hair when i was lying in bed one day in paris. i have half a year left to be 18, another year to be a teenager. got to try something at least once right?

and my new year resolution is to be more daring and stop fearing change.

2011-12-21T16:31:00.001+08:00

fuck why i so fat in photos. and i never apply for ntu in the end fuck.

2011-12-20T16:29:00.002+08:00

At Paris airport now, and somehow I managed to get a connection. Can't fucking wait to get home. The weather here is depressing, and I am already craving for laksa. Oh and I dyed my hair last night at the hotel cause I didn't want to clean up the mess at home. And that was such a great decision on my part because after I was done, the toilet looked like the aftermath of a bloodbath. And I dyed my hair a cherry red. It's very uneven and sucks because my dad has no skill! Thank god the colour is not very obvious.

Ok I'm rambling. And my dad wants me to take driving test when I get home. And I need to work to pay back my parents for the things they bought me this trip. Hchstgolvxxsfhgijg

2011-12-16T18:27:00.001+08:00

In London now!! Saw fine bits of snow this morning! And in Paris I got quite a few things from shopping.

French men are so fine btw.

2011-12-04T00:21:00.003+08:00

so i asked my mama to buy this dress for me, wanting to wear it as a casual dress (go shopping and shitt). but then my mama said if i buy this, it has to be my prom dress cause she dont want to buy another dress for me already :/

i guess i just have to go with what she says, since i havent found anything suitable anyway! arghh prom shopping is such a chore and un-fun. all i ask is that no one wears the same dress as me if not fml. and theirs.

fucking contacts irritate my eyes like fuck. constantly tearing and feeling like i'm on the verge of crying. at least it wasnt as hard as i thought to wear.

2011-12-02T20:38:00.001+08:00

relevance.

2011-11-26T01:54:00.003+08:00

when i was packing my room, i found a super old journal of mine from like 3 years ago? and i was so inspired to start writing again. i found i could face up to my feelings in writing, so much more than in my blog.

and so i did start writing. and i felt so much better. but then i start to think about what a blog was for? this blog i started when yr3 started. i even named it 'laura 3a'. so this blog is 4 years old, and i did have some good come from it.

but i think i'll probably use my blog so much less now. i dont really understand the point of it. you say things halfheartedly, and mostly bad things just come out of it. people judge you (and not in kind ways), and mostly shit just happens when something you say comes out wrong.

maybe thats why tumblr is such a comforting place for me. i like reblogging pictures that speak to me. things that i couldnt possibly have put into words. and at the beginning i didnt let anyone personal know about my blog because i always thought people could see through those pictures, and see ME, and i was kind of afraid of that.

then somehow my brother knew about it, cause i needed help with those html shit. and then someone saw me reblogging in class and asked for my blog url. and by chance sometimes we just talk about it and i give it away.

now i'm not so afraid of people looking at my tumblr, cause i think few people judge blogs the way i do. i like to over analyse what people say, to see a side of them they dont show me. and i think i do that to the pictures people reblog too.

and until i find something meaningful to do with this really old blog of mine, i think i'll use it sparingly.

so today me and cheehin were talking about throwing stuff away and feeling good about it. and the more i throw stuff away, the more easily i can do it. i feel less hesitant the emptier my room gets.

and i have decided to do the same to my life. the more i am able to let things go and stop forcing them, even if they never become the way i envisioned, i would probably get used to it. maybe this detachment is good, i keep those things i really need (like my progress reports), and throw the rest away. things i'll never miss. i just need to make myself believe i wont miss them.

things will be alright.

2011-11-23T23:32:00.002+08:00

so many people on tumblr getting their acceptance letters to universities! omg cant wait for my turn.

2011-11-23T22:04:00.002+08:00

i am sooo tired today. and very extremely unfortunate that my period is coming (either tonight or tmr), so my stomach is starting to ache already.

today was extremely excessive, we went from somerset to orchard to vivo, and visited 3 topshops in total. and cheehin had like 2 avocado drinks. oh, and we still didnt find a damn dress. not even a decent 'i'll probably get that if i cant find anything better' dress. and i have not collected my jeans. and i have not found the time (fuck me) to get to west coast plaza to collect something. and i have not packed my worksheets so i can start studying.

think i'll pack my worksheets either tonight or tmr morning, go to westcoast to settle my issue, then go to school and study a little? hm.

so anyway we watched 'in time' today. i actually liked it, thought the concept was pretty brilliant. it got abit repetitive sometimes, and perhaps it was not as well executed as gattaca, but still pretty enjoyable.

and maybe i'm going to watch gattaca again, i just love that movie.

2011-11-23T01:54:00.004+08:00

cannot wait for my macdelivery to come!!!! i'm finally going to get my quarter pounder in an hour, and i've been craving it for like the whole day!

everything would be perfect if i had a movie to go with it! and winter's bone sucked. dont fucking understand the good reviews?!!? it's like fucking boring, and no twist or point to the story. i only liked the lead actress, she's not super pretty but i like looking at her face. and my bro says she's the lead in the hunger games as well, so i cant wait for that to release.

2011-11-22T23:54:00.002+08:00

omg, logged into ibanking today to check my account balance for tmr, and they told me my last login was june! haha and i'm pretty sure i didnt buy anything on that occasion. i am like so proud.

2011-11-22T21:28:00.005+08:00

fucking cleared at least 3kg of my worksheets + alot of the economists.

never thought all this junk could be so toxic. i feel like i've been thoroughly cleansed LOL.

still left a tiny stack of things (yes, it's still call a stack cause it's still >30cm high :/), which i am going to sort out very soon, like tomorrow or thursday.

going to pack all my fucking things into

bio+chem mcq study materials
'acadamic keepsakes'
all my report slips + cca record and more crap
misc notebooks/yearbooks/class photos/scores

and then someday (soon) i will decide what to do with all my yr3/4 textbooks which they tell me to buy BUT WERE NEVER OPENED.

and toughest or all, which i will leave to the last, will be my personal drawer with tons of shit where i dont know where to put + keepsakes from years ago + alot of crap and dust.

ok actually something tougher will be my desk, with random accessories, pens and markers (?!), calculators and super fucking-alot-cannot-be-named crap.

i need to declutter my life, starting first with my room. now i know what my dad means when he says it feels good to throw things away.

and while packing my room just now, i found alot of things i forgot about, like my primary school report book (which was amusing to look at), chinese jotter book with all those newspaper articles (HAHA) and primary school choir scores. those days.

at least i did something slightly physical today ;D

going to watch winter bones now!

2011-11-22T19:13:00.001+08:00

my life.

and gongcha opened. cant even begin to tell you how excited i am for the days to come. already drank like 2 cups in the past 24hours.

2011-11-22T18:10:00.002+08:00

omg lol, woke up at 1 today, ate, use abit of the internet, and went back to sleep! so now it's 6 and i just woke up. i think i slept too much cause my head is spinning, lol.

no plans for the rest of the days i feel crap. maybe i should start throwing things and packing up my room. i think a tidy room will be a good start. i dont know if i should throw all my stuffs away :( i highly doubt i would wanna retake As but argh, so insecure just dumping metre-high stacks of worksheets away so easily.

lol fuck it. at least my worksheets are going to go to recycling. i will feel less bad. if i ever need the notes again, i'm sure i'll get it somehowwwww.

2011-11-22T00:52:00.002+08:00

so i got home about 8 today, and i spent the last 4 hours reading the hunger games, and some other misc stuff like going down to 7-11 to get more pasta.

cant decide if i like the hunger games. i guess the story is quite drawing, with all the excitement and a little sprinkle of romance. but i i think the writer didnt make the deaths seem intense enough? like i didnt feel the weight of all 22 deaths which was a pity. cause when i heard the storyline from my bro, i thought that was the part that would hit me the most.

now that the exams are (almost) over, i dont really know what to do :( and the feeling walking out of my last paper wasnt as liberating as i thought it would be, so i felt a bit disappointed. i only wish the mcq papers were sooner, so i cant start taking up classes or finding something meaningful to do.

argh i think i would be better off in school. now i'm set free, i feel so lost to the point i'm trapping myself.

and tumblr is now full of naked people fucking. thought it was interesting when it started but it's just annoying when i see it now. and all the gruesome pictures of people cutting (i never knew the scars from cutting looked like that, so i learned something i guess) and dying. argh.

2011-11-20T15:01:00.002+08:00

fuck this fuck fuck fuck this bitch! never upload paper 3 answers so i did for nothing.

ok extremely bored at home. abit insecure about econs because i havent touched it since tuesday, and actually also insecure about bio la, cause fuck paper 3.

omg life will be great after tomorrow. i just wanna come home and take a niceeeeee long nap. and i wanna start reading again ;D

2011-11-20T02:20:00.005+08:00

small things like having your own dental floss, can be such a pleasure. so happy i dont have to keep going up to my dad's room just to get dental floss! and all this convenience just for $4.50!

and walau the dental floss is 90m, so if i use 30cm each time, i can use for 300times!! haha wtf damn, floss is cheap.

and are you supposed to floss everyday? cause i only do it if i feel dirty :/ and i also dont know if you should do it before or after you brush your teeth? maybe there's no right or wrong ;p

and flossing is like shaving! feel damn shiok and clean and nice after that!

and i bought this meijikiss (or something) chocolate. and it is like fucking heaven. fucking fucking heaven.

2011-11-19T21:58:00.002+08:00

finally got my pair of jeans! it's not thick though, i just hope the warmers will keep me warm. oh god i am super scared of the cold dont think i'll survive :(

and i watched hard candy just now. it was pretty bad, except some of the dialogue was ok funny.

need a good movie to watch. arghhh bored out of my head.

2011-11-19T02:53:00.000+08:00

bold what applies to you.

I’m loud.
I’m sarcastic.
I cry easily.
I have a bad temper.
I’m easy to get along with.
I have more enemies than friends.
I’ve smoked
I drink coffee.
I clean my room daily.

My appearance:
I wear make-up.
I wear a piece of jewelry at all times.
I wear contacts.
I wear glasses.
I have braces. (had them previously)
I change my hair color often.
I have a piercing.
I have small feet.

Relationships:
I’m in a relationship now.
I’m single.
I’m crushin’ fancyin’.
I’ve missed an ex before.
I’m always scared of being hurt.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve been in love more than two times.
I believe in love at first sight.

Friendships:
I have a best friend.
I have at least ten REAL friends.
I’ve gotten a phone call in the last 48 hours from a friend.
I’ve beaten up a friend.
I’ve been in a serious fight with a friend.
I can trust at least five people with my life.

Experiences:
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve taken a taxi.
I’ve taken a city bus.
I’ve taken a school bus.
I’ve made a speech.
I’ve been in some sort of club.

Music:
I listen to R&B.
I listen to pop.
I listen to techno.
I listen to rock.
I’m one of those people who play songs repeatedly until I hate it.
I download music.
I buy CD’s.

Family Life:
I get along with both of my parents for the most part.
My biological parents are still together.
I have at least one brother.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve made my parents cry.
I’ve lied to my parents.
I’ve lied to my parents about where I am.
I’ve lied to my parents about what I’m doing.

Hair:
I have had streaks.
I’ve cut my hair in the past year.
I’ve dyed my hair in the past year.
I’ve been blonde.
I’ve had black.
I’ve been red.
I use conditioner.
I’ve curled my hair.
I’ve straightened my hair.

love shit like these. waste like about 3minutes of my life ;)

2011-11-19T02:29:00.002+08:00

grrgrrgrr so boreddd. and i finished studying my 3rd set of bio notes alreadyyyyy. last one left whooo.

and i havent bought anything online for like the longest time everrrr. like more than a year and a half already i think! the only thing i spent money online on was like my ucas application! i can resist temptation. the best ;)

grr grr so boredd

2011-11-18T23:42:00.001+08:00

fuck ntu application also need essay :'

and i havent bathe :(

2011-11-18T22:25:00.002+08:00

today i finally got my ass off the chair/bed and actually made my way to school. i only stayed there for 2 hours over, cause i cant study any longer than that. and actually my travelling time to and from school was longer than 3 hours, so that's funny. at least i finished 2 out of the 4 notes i have to complete.

think i'll do one more tonight, after i bathe, and another tmr. then sunday will just be left to cram answers.

my plan seems really perfect. the hardest part is getting on my 3rd set of notes tonight.

and cheehin's not applying to ntu eek. :(

and i finally managed to sent that stupid email out to the uni who requested for 'official transcripts of my O level results'. finallyyyyyyyy.

2011-11-18T04:17:00.002+08:00

OH MY FUCKING GOD I GOT A CONDITIONAL OFFER FROM UNI OF EDINBURGH. OH MY FUCKING HELLL MY DAY JUST GOT LIKE A MILLION TIMES BETTER SOMEONE WANTS MEEEEEEE.

and the condition is like fucking good!! i only need an A in maths and B/C in 2 other h2 subjects omgomgomg. i need that damn A for maths please come now!!!!! AND THE BEST FUCKING THING IS THEY NEVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT GP OMG FUCKING GOOD.

ok i'm going to school tmr to study!!!

2011-11-18T01:14:00.002+08:00

So I finally got out of the house cause that place is going to drive me crazy.

Now I've got my steaming hot pasta and jollyshandy, I'm sitting at the back of Thomson plaza enjoying the peace and quietness. And I realize I do like the dark a lot too.

2011-11-17T23:23:00.002+08:00

Make yourself necessary to somebody.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

haha yes. i've always dreamt about being indispensable. i can only imagine how great that would feel. that sense of power when somebody needs you, or how you can do shit but everything will still be there for you.

so many times i've thought about how great that would feel. like you know, you're so smart and so genius your company needs you, others seek for you.

of course all that is purely part of my imagination. because obviously i've failed terribly at that.

i'm the complete opposite of that. i'm just second (or not even) to everyone, to everything. and sometimes when it hits you, it hurts so bad, but you (hopefully) come back stronger.

2011-11-17T22:56:00.002+08:00

it's so fucking frustrating when you wake up, eat, surf the net, watch antm, eat again, surf the net again, watch 'the big c', surf the net again, and eat again for 8 hours straight.

fuckkk this fucking sucks i am in such a fucking bad mood i wanna go out and shop, go out for a picnic, go out to do something actually productive and good for the soul. being cooped up in the house like that with absolutely nothing to do, i just end up doing shit and feeling like crap.

and the whole 'i must study now' shit weighing on my mind. i am going nuts.

the whole fucking a lvl takes away all my friends and makes everybody dull. fuck this shit. no one is game for a lunch out of their damn schedule. no one wants to go out, just for the sake of going out. watch a movie. whatever. fuck this shit fuck this shit seriously fuck this shit.

like this entire 3 weeks, i've talked to like less than 10 people in my life. 6 of which already come from my family (incl my maid). so funny uh, last thing i thought would come in between people and relationships, would be the a lvls. look what it's done. or maybe only to me.

and i thought taking the a lvls would be better with everyone suffering together. not much actually. seeing the number of people actually there to bear the pain with me and hang around with me for a bit of comfort, i think it really doesnt make a difference whether i do it alone or not. in fact i'll probably be better off being the only person who has to sit for the exams. at least people might actually bother to be there since they probably wouldnt have so important things on their schedule.

well, at least i learnt only you will be there for yourself.

Truly it is ourselves that we depend upon;
How could we really depend upon another?
When we reach the state of self-reliance
We find a rare refuge

and the irony of it? i have 70 people (or occasions) in the course of a single day who are interested in my life enough to read my damn blog with my never ending ramblings. but how many bother to be in it?

people in my life today count: 5 (because it is 11pm and my daddy is not even home. and i spoke about 5 sentences to my mum today, and she too went out and is not home yet)

2011-11-17T18:38:00.003+08:00

gr, i am just so pissed off right now. so i dug out my results slip and shit, scanned them and tried replying to the uni. and somehow the email just refused to get sent. so i found another email and tried sending it too, and it's still not fucking working.

fuck i am so pissed off. if it still doesnt work tmr i have no idea what i'm going to do.

so pictures of this girl was constantly appearing on my dash, and i always thought she was super creepy dolly cool. and i never knew her name until yesterday when i watched antm17. i was like fucking shocked, when she walked through the door and i'm like 'omg tumblr mystery girl!!'

2011-11-17T16:11:00.005+08:00

i really hate applying to unis :( why cant everything be done for us like the transition between primary and secondary school? :'(

so i received this email from one of the uk unis to ask for my o lvl results. now i have to dig the damn thing up, scan it and send to them. so annoying!

and from nus,

Before you proceed to apply, you will need to:

Prepare an online essay of about 400 to 600 words:
that explains why you have been intrigued by an idea, concept, or theory you have encountered. This idea can come from either a traditional academic discipline -- such as history, science, philosophy, or mathematics -- or from fields such as film, engineering, art, or politics.

In planning your essay, bear in mind the following: We are looking for evidence of your specific, first-hand response to an idea or theory. Your essay should identify the idea and explain if you have a personal, unique, or notable relation to it. Then, analyze the concept with as much detail and depth as possible, explaining how your engagement with this idea changed or broadened your thinking.

omg lol. when i received the letter from nus, i was like thinking 'haha apply la! no harm applying what!'. until i read that. and i'm like forget it. now i am so excited to apply to ntu. no such essay bullshit.

i wish applying to uni was as easy as applying for a email account. gr.

2011-11-17T03:53:00.004+08:00

fuck this shit. about 3 weeks ago, i got this jab on my ass right. and i had a blue black on it for about a week, then it subsided. but then fucking shit. the fucking pain (which is actually not that painful la) is still on my ass. and idk, there is like a lump under it which is not exactly tiny or huge.

so i googled it and apparently it is common. it's supposed to subside within a few days or a week. but mine has been fucking 3 weeks. fuckkk what if i have a tumour and they have to cut off my ass or part of it :( then i will have a dent on my ass :'(
oh my shit.

fuck the doctor la fuckkkk. he was cute but seriously? :(

2011-11-17T02:12:00.003+08:00

so much closer to the end after today, i can already see it!

the only thing i fear now is bio p3, cause the topics are weirddddd. just going to read notes and answer keys. hope it's enough!

econs today was pretty shitty. was extremely slow, was unsure about everything even the super basic fiscal question. not an especially great paper. chem was ok-ish. but oh well.

went to hardrock today for my ahma's birthday! had such great food, i love it there.

uhm econs will be neglected and pushed to the 3hr break between papers on monday. excitinggggg.

arghhh and i'm filling in the ntu admission thinggg, and now i'm stuck on the choices section again! damn it i dont know what i want to study :(

fucking hell 2.30am and i'm not bathed yet.

was watching antm17, am quite surprised the girls are not that 'all star'.

2011-11-13T22:47:00.001+08:00

saw this extremely nice dress at warehouse but my mama refused to let me buy because it was $200:(

and i am bloody bored :'(

2011-11-13T16:51:00.002+08:00

sian it's 5 pm on a sunday and my exam is in 3 days and i havent started doing anything. fuckkk econs how the fuck do i study for it.

and did you see that dakotafanning ad that was banned. lol so dumb.

2011-11-13T01:33:00.001+08:00

just got even more cute panties. how can i stop this obsession.

2011-11-13T00:13:00.002+08:00

omg, i googled the lyrics for 'smells like teen spirit'. it's just a load of bullshit it's actually funny.

A mulatto
An albino
A mosquito
My libido
Yeah.

HAHA, but it's so catchy love it.

2011-11-12T22:52:00.002+08:00

today while having dinner at ajisen, i had to listen to this stupid stick thin girl complain to her boyfriend about how her 'xia ban shen' is very fat. and her stupidddd boyfriend still tell her how to lose weight and shit. fucking sick.

and somehow me and my mum got into the 'you're too fat' conversation again. really dont get why she wants me to lose weight so badly. so i told her i'm not fat and my weight is 'accceptable' and she told me our family 'is not meant to be fat'. ok, extremely disturbing.

2011-11-12T03:42:00.000+08:00

just now during my 4 hour afternoon nap, i had the scariest dream ever. i dreamt i didnt do a page of my maths exam, and somehow that page was 41 marks. lol wtf. i was seriously panicking like fuckk

2011-11-12T02:03:00.002+08:00

watched a few episodes of THE BIG C. last episode of s1 was very sad :(

damn it's now 2am and i have to bathe. grr i hate bathing have to stand for 30minutes, damn tiring.

2011-11-11T21:19:00.001+08:00

zombie boy is so hot!! love that smile he does when he reveals his face tattoos.

and i need that concealer now.

2011-11-11T20:46:00.000+08:00

so cute! wanna get a floral bikini!

2011-11-11T19:40:00.002+08:00

just took a 4 hour nap and i am still tired!

cant believe majority of the papers are over, only left 4 major and 2 minor papers yay.

today's maths was very good, except i think everyone is going to do good so good is not enough :/ ok whatever it's over. thats the best.

dont know how to study for econs, kind of suckkk.

2011-11-10T19:29:00.002+08:00

on 11.11.11, at 11:11am, i will be in the exam hall waiting for my paper to be collected.

heehee so exciting. :)

2011-11-10T19:16:00.001+08:00

2011-11-10T18:44:00.002+08:00

karlie kloss walking/closing victoria secret! omgg never thought this day would come. high fashion zombie walk to doing sexy. eek.

still love her though, even if she doesnt have boobs.

2011-11-10T18:13:00.003+08:00

lol, my entire tumblr dash is filled with photos/interviews of one direction. are they like fucking big or anything? i mean they are kinda cute... but their songs suck :/

and i may have a new talent for spotting gays!

seriously! few days ago i was watching this movie TOAST. within the first few scenes i was convinced the main character was gay. told my brother and he thought i was ridiculous. i even showed him a few scenes which suggested he was gay but he say i was thinking too much.

and who got the last laugh? towards the end he had a gay kiss with some other guy! (oh, it was kinda hot too)

;p

2011-11-10T17:57:00.002+08:00

today's maths was surprisingly ok! i think it was ok easy with only like 1-2 hard questions, so all's good. if the bell curve didnt exist, i'll probably get an A lol! fuck man, i wished the entire cohort was dead. ;p

slept for 2 hours and did some practices. going to do a final paper (probably 08 p2) later, and in 15hours, maths will be over forever.

2011-11-09T21:24:00.001+08:00

3 exam papers and 1 practice paper in a day kill.

seriously fucking exhausted need to bathe and sleep asap.

2011-11-09T19:02:00.000+08:00

wtf lost my 2008 paper. now nothing to do. fuck this shit. fuck.

2011-11-08T22:26:00.002+08:00

eek tried a bio paper2 and it was pretty terrible. more worried about gp though argh i am so long winded.

blah going to sleep.

edit/
I MUST STOP CLICKING ON BLOGGER. NOW EVERYONE KNOWS I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO.

ok forgot what i initially wanted to say. goodnight for real. (to you, the 50 i have no fucking idea who u r readers. why aren't you studying ah?)

sexual frustration

2011-11-08T19:33:00.001+08:00

Female Hysteria

omg lol, most hilarious thing i read today.

Galen, a prominent physician from the 2nd century, wrote that hysteria was a disease caused by sexual deprivation in particularly passionate women: hysteria was noted quite often in virgins, nuns, widows and, occasionally, married women. The prescription in medieval and renaissance medicine was intercourse if married, marriage if single, or vaginal massage (pelvic massage) by a midwife as a last recourse.

2011-11-08T18:31:00.003+08:00

You are your own worst enemy. Don’t let fear control your life.

going for the papers tomorrow with no fear. just going to go and do my best. right now i am fucking tired and i want to sleep.

2011-11-08T17:34:00.002+08:00

fuck this fuckingggg shit. fuckkk chem p3 was fucking fucked up.

and i dont know how to study for tmr's bio. and obviously gp is left to die.

omg fuck cant stop thinking about it. fucking hell think i chose the wrong question fuck.

2011-11-08T00:07:00.003+08:00

omg never been so scared and stressed in my life. going to rmb this experience for as long as i live i think. fuck this shit it's scary.

only comfort is the 08 paper i tried which was pretty awesome.

what i'm more scared than the exam tmr, is the fact that i have to study for the gp/bio day. because fuck that shit i am screwed for gp 100%, and i'm not confident for bio cause i hardly did shit. and then after that i have to study maths, and i havent done a maths paper for about a week now. and i have not attempted the 07 and 08 paper which ms lim printed for us. omg damn it i'm scared.

going to reblog 5 more pictures, brush my teeth and lie in bed and try to relax!

2011-11-07T00:40:00.000+08:00

cant fucking believe this. 2 days. shitting my pants

2011-11-05T23:49:00.003+08:00

did the 07 p3 today! i think it was pretty alright, lost about 5-6 marks per question, hope i'm good to go!

went shopping and this fucker in the carpack stole our fucking lot. dad didnt wanna go pick a fight, so the bastard got the finger (or 2) from me instead. and his fucking china girlfriend.

Fist in the air and a finger to the sky.
Do I care if you hate me? Do you wanna know the truth?
C'est la vie... adiós... good riddance... fuck you!

apt or whatt!

had this fucking good japanese food. it was always crowded so we never got to try it. but it was late today and we finally did.

and pearlyn offered to watch those movies with me ahh i am so excited! i need more people who are game! my daddy says he has the movie 'irreversible' which he doesnt want to let me watch. just wait till i convince him.

tmr i am going to do a compre, i just pray i dont do too bad for gp. seriously fuck the fucking gp. without gp i would be more relaxed than i am now. and i realised i am not done for bio and it is on the same day as gp. fuckkkkk.

i am just going to treat the A levels like prelim. hopefully i'll do fine. finer than fine.

edit/
i open my email and it's there. just so glad.

sometimes the most unexpected people are there to help you, just a sms away.

2011-11-05T03:43:00.007+08:00

Another one of those fucking nights you lie alone in bed and feel like crap over everything.

Wish I didn't read what I just read. fucking sucksss.

I hope when I die there will be people at my funeral. I hope I still have people who gives a shit. I hope people arent going to say they're 'too lazy' to come. And I hope people would realize i'm gone.

funny, maybe it's my fault.

2011-11-04T19:18:00.002+08:00

Most Controversial Movies of The 21st Century

really tempted to watch hard candy cause i saw it in video ez before! i am going to watch most of them after As!

IMDB on 'Shortbus'

Sex & Nudity

Every single scene in this movie is about sex, whether shown explicitly or merely discussed in detailed, forthright terms.

A man lies nude in a bathtub filming himself urinating in the water. He then films himself fellating himself until he ejaculates into his mouth while another man spies on him through a telescope.

A dominatrix sanitizes dildos then beats a man with a whip. She uses the whip to play with clothespins clamped to his nipples. The man masturbates and ejaculation is seen.

A husband and wife have sex in a variety of positions. This is graphically shown including cunnilingus, fellatio, insertion during intercourse, the woman masturbating the man, the woman using a strap-on dildo on the man.

At several points in the movie, we see the film a man is editing showing himself and his partner. In some of the shots they are naked.

An orgy room in which people are shown explicitly performing many sexual acts is seen several times throughout the movie.

We see three naked men have sex with each other. The scene includes explicit oral-genital and oral-anal sex as well as one man masturbating another. There is also implied anal sex shot from the shoulders up. Another man is watching this scene through a telescope.

A woman masturbates with a dildo while her husband masturbates while looking at pornography on a computer in the other room. We see him only when she interrupts him. He waggles his genitals to tease her.

A stripper performs with tasseled pasties in the out-of-focus background.

A dominatrix beats a man who is first clothed then naked.

Two fully nude men have sex.

A woman's fantasy of masturbating in public is shown.

A man is told that someone just came on his cat.

A drag queen tells about using fresh menstrual blood, straight from a tampon, as lipstick in a show.

Full frontal female nudity is seen frequently, with full close ups, (extreme and graphic as well)

wtf might as well have been a porn film.

2011-11-04T18:12:00.001+08:00

Did you hear the one about me being a punk?
Did you hear the one about me being a drunk?
Did you hear the one about me losing my nerve?
Or how I'm just another fucking sheep in the herd?
Did you hear about the money, how it made me change?
So funny to me, all the time that they waste.
Did you hear the one about me giving a shit?
Cause if I ever did I don't remember it.

You can be me and I will be you.
You can live just like a star.
I'll take my sanity, you take the fame.
I'm under and over it all.
(I'm under and over it.)

Did you hear the one about me playing the game?
Selling my soul and changing my name.
Did you hear the one about me being a prick?
Did you know I don't care? You can suck my...
Did you hear the one about me trying to die?
Fist in the air and a finger to the sky.
Do I care if you hate me? Do you wanna know the truth?
C'est la vie... adiós... good riddance... fuck you!

for the next time someone pisses me off bad.

the song, the video, the lyrics drive me crazy

2011-11-04T16:34:00.005+08:00

omg the real thing in 3-4 days. the wait is killing me.

tomorrow or sunday i'm going to do the whole 'wake up early, go for a run, drink yoghurt and shit thing'. i hope i feel more alive after that.

and from today onwards, i'm just going to take it easy. just do one thing a day.

today: read organic and inorganic
saturday: 07 chem p3
sunday: either 08 p3 or read leftover notes
monday: shopping

(as you can probably tell by now, i love lists)

i hope i dont regret this! i just want this to be over quick.

and i received this email from ntu, telling me to consider them as my choice or some shit. so when i apply, they better fucking let me in.

I believe students like you who have both excellent academic results and strong Co-Curricular Activities (CCA) records would doubtless have several choices when it comes to making decisions on furthering your education.

lmao

edit/
why is it so like me to just 'give up' and trivialize everything when i am stressed? is it what they call 'running away?' maybe it's just my way of dealing with stress but i wonder if it is a weakness.

i hate feeling weak and i hate weak people so i dont want to be that person.

and everynight i lie in bed thinking about random shit cause i rarely sleep well nowadays. and i think i've become quite a horrible person, but everytime i try to be nice, there is no opportunity to be nice. and maybe even that is an excuse cause i am just not a nice person to begin with.

2011-11-03T19:28:00.002+08:00

from 3 seconds onwards of both songs, the intro sounds the same. wtf. or maybe it's just me :/

2011-11-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

2011-11-02T17:12:00.001+08:00

now i'm going to go back to studying nervous or something.

2011-11-02T16:48:00.000+08:00

2011-11-02T14:14:00.002+08:00

tuition at 9am yesterday totally screwed my day up. at about noon i got home, watched a movie and could hardly open my eyes, so i took an afternoon nap. turns out i slept till 6.30pm, so i decided to meet cheehin at kap for the entire fucking night. and fucking bitch of kap is not 24hour, so we went to beautyworld to eat porridge at 3am lol! and then we found another mac opposite so yay. had this humongous breakfast and came home to sleep. it's now 2pm already i hope i sleep by 2am tonight. dont wanna flip my day over!

plan for today:

finish up last few questions of maths p2 (45min)
read econs market failure (CAN SOMEONE LEND ME MICRO NOTES PLEASEEE) (45min)
study bio (nervous and endocrine) (1.5hours)
study organic chem (1hour)
1 bio mcq (1hour)
1 chem paper 2 (1.5hours)

6.5

yay i still am able to sleep by 2am ;D

2011-10-30T17:44:00.002+08:00

been breeding frogs like crazy on pocket frogs! got like almost 70% of the awards already!!

mbs was not very fun, because i came my period and i could not swim :( had fucking bad cramps during tuition, so i went opposite to get a jab from a clinic. doctor was super cute ;D

and the shopping was super duper high end and ex, so there was nothing to buy. went to guess and tried a few dresses though! they were quite nice and i almost bought a dress but i decided against it because it cost more than 200. and the woman there lent me a superrrrr duperrr high heel to try with the dress and i was fucking tall :( i wish i was taller than this foieehwvoiheivj fml.

the room was small and uninteresting. fucking toilet had this gross stench too.

walked the helix bridge too. it looked reallyyyy cool from the observation deck but was pretty uninteresting. and the ATCG shit was weiwehviehviw.

so hm. these 2 days was pretty normal, except i didnt read a single page of the econs book i brought there. and work was not on my mind at all. and it's quite rare my mum is not telling me to study! usually when exams coming, she will tell us to go study, but this time she told me 'it's the time to relax, cannot get too stressed'. omg awesome.

and i asked my dad today what's the worst case scenario if i do bad this time. and he said either retake (which is quite bad walau), or go perth and stay with my aunt and study some shit subject (which sounds quite fun actually). so i hope i get at least a few As to get into a uni ;p

finally submitted to ucas. my ps is extremely unconvincing (according to bean and anise), but fuck that shit. gave me fucking enough trouble already and i'm pissed enough. at least it's done now.

going to my ahma house to eat crab and yay. tmr's monday and i am going to start mugging like crazyyyy.

2011-10-28T02:51:00.002+08:00

today was kinda great lol! me and cheehin wanted to stay in school till about 1am to study, so we ordered mac and it came about 10.45. then the guard scolded us and said we were only allowed to stay in school till 10.30. and we heard him tell another guard to 'call mr goh' so we fucking ran all the way back to school to hide lol.

after our mac meal, we planned to continue with our work but got caught again. and we ran again, hoping to run out of school before the guard could catch us but the fucking gate was locked. so heehee we just kept telling the guard we 'graduate already!' and got out of everything.

also consulted willy today. he said the only thing i have is exam skills and luck. oh no.

going to finish up my personal statement AND SERIOUSLY FINALIZE IT. then i am going to sleep. wake up tomorrow at 11, do a maths paper from ivle, go for tuition from 4-9. THEN HEAD TO MBS AH I AM SO EXCITED.

2011-10-27T00:48:00.004+08:00

went shopping today and i actually got something from f21! we had tcc and it was soooooo good. the chocolate lava cake is the best in the entire world. and the strawberry expresso is fucking awesome.

watched limitless too and it was slightly dumb but still rather enjoyable to watch. i am rambling because i am waiting for my nails to dry before i bathe.

so let me tell you why i repainted my nails. because yesterday we went to sentosa and the beach destroyed it (together with my hair). ok so thats the story.

hm. my dog's mouth is very smelly. at last she has learnt not to jump on my bed.

and who is david chia? he wants to be my friend.

oh the piano guy. he's now my friend!

2011-10-26T00:17:00.002+08:00

fucking love this doc mart leopard. omg need it now

anyway went to sentosa today and bobbed around in the water. fucking guy from the restaurant kept shouting at us cause we left our bags there.

dont know why i'm so fucking tired from an hour of bobbing around and a few hours of shopping. it was shiok though. we planned to talk bio and econs but ended up not speaking a word of it.

mama got a 2 night stay at mbs this friday and saturday. fuck tuition.

2011-10-25T01:57:00.000+08:00